Why Men Are Confusing? How To Understand Men – Dating Tips For Finding Love
April 29, 2019
If you think men are confusing, and most women do, it’s because you’re looking at them through your eyes, through your filters, beliefs and assumptions. When John Gray came up with his clever title comparing men and women to to entirely different planets, it struck a chord for a reason. We’re that different. So, to try to figure men out from your perspective is always going to lead to frustration because it simply can’t be done.
To truly understand men, you must slip ever-so-gently into their shoes, look out through their eyes, and filter life through their brains. Of course, this is not something that you can do simply by wishing it. You have to either put in some serious time studying men up close, talking to them in their language, asking the kind of questions they can hear, and then listening to them in the same way they think. Not what the average women is programmed to do.
So why have I figured them out? What makes me different than the average woman? Only one thing. Well…maybe two.
The first thing is I automatically ask why people do what they do and react/respond the way they do, from the perspective of Cultural Anthropology.
I step WAY back, look at the broad screen from way-back-when to present day, and, using my female intuition, try to make sense of it. I come up with a conclusion that “feels” right and logical, then–and here’s the second thing that makes me different–when I’m looking at what men do, I ask them if what I’ve come up with is what’s true for them. And wah, lah, an explanation, and a new secret, of what makes men tick.
But it takes more than asking one man. I actually spent two years studying men. I interviewed hundreds of men, read books that attempted to describe men, subscribed to their magazines–which, by the way, are VERY different than women’s magazines. Then, as I began to put together the puzzle pieces of what men are all about, I checked with lots and lots and lots of men to verify if I was on the right track.
So what did I learn? Tons but here’s one example:
I learned that the big difference between how men and women see getting married is women see it as a fantasy coming true, a kind of heart song, and men see it as a nuts-and-bolts decision. Men look at it in the following ways:
- Is my career on track?
- Can I afford to take care of a wife and possible children?
- Am I ready to take on the responsibility of her emotional well-being?
- Am I ready to give up other women?
- Is she going to stay this same woman I love or is she going to change, as most women do?
- Am I going to be able to make her happy?
- Am I going to live up to her fantasies?
Do you see how different that is from how you think about marriage? That’s just one of many differences between men and women that I discovered.
What’s another? Men are driven to make their woman happy. It’s deep in their biology. If you’re unhappy, he takes it as a personal failure. Of course, we all know your happiness isn’t his responsibility, it’s yours, but he still takes it personally.
Hopefully, I’ve helped you see that your relationships with men will improve if you learn to see how they perceive the world. Then, you can communicate in new, more effective ways, and get lots more of what you want from them. The funny thing is, they want to give it to you…you just need to know how to ask.
I share all of my secrets about men in Men Made Easy, a fun, easy read that shows you how easy it is to transform your relationships with men by developing your Feminine Grace.
From my heart to yours,